The "Dirty Thirty"

Birthdays are awesome!  Especially when you're a kid - you get a party, tons of presents, and usually enough cake and ice cream to sink a small ship!

As we slowly grow up, we start to look forward to the "milestone" birthdays.  "I'm 16, I can drive!!!", "I'm 18, I can do whatever I want", "I'm 21, now I can legally buy beer - wanna see my brand new ID?"

Then, somehow, we lose our enthusiasm.  The 20's ramble on, and before we know it we're 25 and hit with the realization that we're MID WAY through the decade we had so looked forward to as teenagers.  Then, as we enter our late 20's, the next milestone looms in the distance, growing ever closer with the inevitable realization of "Holy crap, I'm 30...now what???"

Exactly one month ago, I had just such a realization when I turned the big 3-0, the "Dirty Thirty" as it's been called by numerous friends.  Something about beginning a new decade makes you stand back and take stock of your life.  What have I accomplished?  Am I where I thought I'd be at 30?  Am I too old to go to grad school?  What am I really doing with my life?

Is it possible that the new mid-life crisis hits at 30 instead of 50?

I'm certainly not where I thought I'd be at 30.  Not for lack of motivation or hard work - things just look much different than I imagined they would. 

I can't say that I'm unhappy with where I am, or where I'm going, I'm just still struggling to wrap my brain around the fact that I'm *gulp* 30.  I guess part of me feels like it's all downhill from here - or is the best yet to come?  Either way, I've hit this milestone head on, and it hasn't left me with answers to life's big questions - it's just given me more questions!  Where should we live?  Should we buy a house?  Can we even afford a house?  What do I really want my career to be?  Do I even want a career at all?  When should we start a family?  If we start a family, do I keep working?  If so, what do we do about childcare?  If I stay home to raise babies, will I go nuts?.....and the list goes on.

It's just, now that I'm *double gulp* in my thirties, I feel like I should have more of life figured out.  I somehow thought that magically my life would make sense, because people in their thirties "have it together". 

Apparently not! 

Maybe I'm not the only one!  Maybe everyone who hits 30 has to take a step back to really think about life.  Maybe they all expected their lives to be different, or to have the answers to life's big questions. 

Or...maybe not...maybe it's just me...out there...on my own.....

Either way, "Dirty Thirty", I won't let you intimidate me.  I'll get this whole "life" thing figured out - and I bet what I end up with will be even better than I'd imagined!