When I Grow Up...

I'm stressed.  It seems that as soon as one thing gets checked off my perpetual "to do" list, three more magically appear and make me want to pull my hair out, or better yet, curl up in a corner and suck my thumb!

We've got our housing in Ohio figured out (a "cozy" 2 bedroom apartment, for those who are interested), but now we have to find a way to afford it!  Even though I know that it's virtually impossible to have a job set up before we move, my dad's voice is in my head saying "Don't quit a job until you have a new job."  Oh, Daddy, if only life were that simple.  Moving across the country aside, I have no idea what kind of job to even look for!

I don't consider myself a jealous person, but I will completely own up to the fact that I'm incredibly jealous of anyone who knows "what they want to be when they grow up".  I was never that person.  I must have tried on half a dozen majors in college, always sure that I'd eventually find my calling, and end up in a job that I loved, doing something that I really cared about - that I'd find my passion.

So far, no such luck.  Yes, I've had jobs that I've enjoyed, but I'm still on the lookout for what I'm "supposed to do".  As a 30 year old, who has never had a "career" and isn't really sure that a career is in the cards, I'm at something of a loss.

I've had a relatively unconventional job for the last 4 years, and while I have given periodic thought to what I might enjoy doing when this job ended, I still haven't come up with a concrete idea.  I've always suspected that graduate school would be in my future, however, now that I'm married, saving to buy a house, and hoping to start a family at some point, I wonder if I've missed my chance. 

Whatever the future holds for me, I just don't want to look back in 10 years and kick myself for selling out, taking the safe route, and not going after something that I could have really enjoyed. 

For now, I'll hit the job postings, continue to contemplate my future, and hopefully come up with some divine inspiration about "what I want to be when I grow up."