I've never been big on long term plans. I tend to think short term, stay flexible, realizing (and expecting) that things will change. I generally opt to go with the flow - or at least I like to think I do. Especially lately, I feel like I've been living in terms of "what's next" rather than working towards a long term goal.
Yesterday, while talking with my mom, she mentioned something that my brother said. For some reason, it stuck with me. He had commented to her that she is "living in segments". From one short term goal to the next, day to day, event to event, visit to visit, etc. She's not thinking months ahead - she's in survival mode, thinking only of the immediate, what's right in front of her right this minute.
I realized, after some consideration following our conversation, that I am the exact same way, especially recently. I look ahead to things happening today, tomorrow, this weekend, rather than next week, next month, or 6 months from now.
Right now, for instance, I have several things coming up between now and August. We leave for Ohio tomorrow night, we have Relay For Life this weekend, Ben leaves for Utah the following weekend, I will be in SLC over the 4th of July, then I make the big move in early August. Whew! It's exhausting to even think about!
For whatever reason, I find that I can't focus on what I need to do to get ready for the move in August. I'm simply looking ahead to our travels to Ohio and Relay For Life. Once that is over, I'll begin to focus on Ben leaving for Utah. You see the pattern here. As a chronic procrastinator - I think I'd know if this was your every day avoidance of unpleasant activities. This seems to be more than that. Somehow, I seem to have developed a new pattern of "what do I have to look forward to" or "what is next on my list".
Whether this is good or bad, I have no idea. It's just something that I've just recently realized about myself. Of course, there's something to be said for living in the moment, and not stressing about things coming months down the road, though part of me feels like a teenager, with no regard for the future or planning ahead.
I need to find a happy middle ground!
I love you, and all we can do is take life one day at a time! We both need the middle ground!
ReplyDeleteErin, Living for the moment and what is next on your do to list is not such a bad thing. Years ago I would live and plan for what would happen many years down the road and then when life would change course my well laid plans crumbled and so did I. I have found a much better way is to always be flexible and not lay anything in stone. Enjoy each day and each event as it comes and be willing to change course if circumstances require you to. Looking too far down the road you will be sure to miss the beauty along the way. Love you, you are doing great!!
ReplyDeleteI'm the EXACT same way ... and my mom is not, which makes for an interesting relationship. ;) I can't focus on something that is not on my horizon when there are 100 other things before it. I think it's good! :)
ReplyDelete