A Holiday Humbug

I love Christmas.  I love the build-up, I love the movies, and I especially love the baked goods. 

There are, however, things about the holiday season that drive me crazy. 

First of all, it's as if all traffic laws of the United States cease to exist during the month of December.  Seriously, between the horn honking, the running of red lights, and the fighting for parking spaces, it's enough to drive a person crazy (pun intended)!  Somehow I've missed how screaming out your window and giving a perfect stranger the finger became the standard greeting for the holiday season!

Second, I am confused by the people who put a red nose and antlers on their car to make it look like Rudolph.  Um...it's a car...12 inch antlers and a red ball on the hood do not equal a reindeer - it equals a minivan that looks like it hit a squirrel and then drove through a heavily wooded area, picking up a few stray twigs on the way.  The one exception to dressing up one's car is the semi-trucks that put wreaths on the front grill.  I'm all for that, especially for the truckers who spend the bulk of the holiday season away from their families and tackling the crazy drivers that emerge in the weeks leading up to Christmas.

Third, I CAN'T STAND the musical arrangements of dogs barking or cats meowing to the tune of "Jingle Bells" or "Deck the Halls".  Whenever I hear something like this, I envision people in a recording studio squeezing the poor animals like a stress ball to get them to make these God-awful sounds!  I'm an animal lover, I'm guilty of watching YouTube videos of dogs licking babies, and I even get a kick out of (other people's) pets wearing sweaters when it's cold outside.  But, leave the musical performances to humans - unless you manage to teach your cat how to play the piano or get your dog to play the harmonica...THAT I would listen to!

Finally, I come to the people who confuse me the most...the people who do their shopping while wearing Santa hats. 

I DON'T GET THIS!!!  These are the same people who wear cartoon character sweatshirts, and I am still waiting for a valid explanation for this one!

We know you're Christmas shopping...we're Christmas shopping too...but you don't see the rest of us throwing on ridiculous Santa garb to trudge through the toy section of Target!  Once again, there is an exception to this rule - folks who work certain jobs can absolutely get away with wearing a Santa hat to enhance holiday spirit - doctors, nurses, the little man braving the cold to ring a bell for hours on end hoping to solicit a few donations for the needy - these folks are more than welcome to don their gay apparel.  But for the rest of you, leave it at home!

I won't even get into the baseball cap Santa hats - there are hardly words, and the ones that I can think of aren't nice.


While there are things about the holiday season that drive me crazy, I really don't consider myself to be a humbug (though I might sound that way today).  I listen to Christmas music from the day after Thanksgiving until New Year's Eve, I spend evenings driving around looking at Christmas lights, I'm always excited to send out Christmas cards to my friends and family, and I look forward to our Christmas Even traditions.

Just don't expect to see me driving my reindeer car through a red light while donning my Santa hat on my way to buy the latest copy of "Meowy Christmas".