Things Wives Say

Over the last week or so, I've become aware of a strange double standard in my little world.  I'm sure it's not just me...at least I hope it's not...but I've realized that I speak to Ben much differently than he speaks to me. 

I caught myself several nights ago as I was saying something to him.  It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps I was coming across as critical...or even...mean!

I'm sure none of us mean to be a nag...it just happens.

Granted, we do a lot of "lovey-dovey" back and forth - the kind of thing that would make our friends roll their eyes (or possibly vomit in their mouths).  But, when we're dealing with the day-to-day business of life, it's not all hugs and kisses, flowers and puppies, sunshine and rainbows.

So, I've been paying attention over the last few days to the things that I say. 

Holy crap! 

If Ben said half of the things to me that I say to him, I'd live in a constant state of tears and likely have trouble getting out of bed in the morning!

Silly things...things that aren't intended to be mean, but if the tables were turned, I'd certainly take them personally.  Why is it that we can speak to our husbands this way, but they can't (nor should they) speak to us the same way?!?

For example:

"Your pillow stinks!  How much do you sweat at night?" - as we prepared to go to bed.

"You're not going to wear that are you?  Can't you try a little harder than a hoodie?" - as we were getting ready to go out to dinner for his birthday dinner.

"Have you run out of air freshener in there?  Dear God, what did you eat?" - as he emerged from the bathroom.

"You don't need to eat that!  We're making smart food decisions!" - as Ben suggested that he have a few cookies after dinner.

It hit me - wives nag, wives are critical, and wives are bitches!  (I'm speaking in generalities here to keep from directly referring to myself as a critical, nagging, bitch)

Ben knows that I love him, and we certainly do our share of teasing back and forth, but if he ever suggested that I "try a little harder" with my outfit, I'm pretty sure I'd slam the bedroom door in his face and not come out for the rest of the night.

So, why does this happen?  Where did this double standard come from???  When did we learn to speak to our dear darling husbands like this???  And why, for the love of all things holy, do they let us???

Whatever the reason, whatever the cause, I'm now most certainly aware of it. 

While I can't guarantee that I'll be able to stop completely (after all, if I wasn't there to tell Ben that he stinks after working all day, how would he know???)...I'm going to try to be more aware of what I say and make sure that no matter what I say, Ben always knows that this bitch says it out of love!