Talking to Cars

Do you talk while driving?  Not to passengers in your car or to someone on the phone...but to other cars/drivers.

I've noticed over the past few weeks, that I have a tendency to talk to cars.  I don't know if I'm doing it more than I used to, if I'm more aware of it for some reason...or if there are just more idiot drivers on the road!!!

I'm sure that my fellow drivers wouldn't entirely appreciate my "creative criticism" on their driving skills if they could actually hear me - I'm very careful to only comment if my windows are up (yes, I'm just that passive aggressive).

Most often, my comments are just that...comments.

Simple things like "Easy there killer" or "Ummm...Hellooooo" if another vehicle begins to wander into my lane or suddenly slows down for no reason.  Half the time, I don't even address the driver...instead I speak directly to the car, as if it has some control over what it's doing: "I see you red car...do you see me?"

Occasionally I'll find myself stuck behind "that guy" who insists on going 10 mph BELOW the posted speed limit in the left lane (and almost always there is a line of semi-trucks in the right lane).  This driver will generally get a friendly "Move your ass, you moron!" or an "Oh my God, are you kidding me?!?!" from my general direction.  

Then every so often some asshole "enthusiastic" driver will zip between cars traveling at high speeds without so much as a turn signal or a glance at his/her blind spot.  Other times, an overconfident (usually young) individual will be texting, applying make up, or changing a cd, and swerve into my lane.  In these cases, I am more than happy to let my fellow driver know how I feel about their little maneuver, by expressing myself with delightful suggestions like "Get your head out of your ass" or "Get off the f-ing road you dick".

(As a side note: since I got my new car, I take advantage of the built in Bluetooth/Speaker phone function every chance I get, so more often than not, the person that I'm talking to on the phone gets a front row seat for my "colorful display of distaste" with other drivers)

Oddly enough...I very rarely use my horn.  I'm not THAT person.

In any case,  I don't think this qualifies me for official road rage...instead, I'd say it's more of an intolerance for drivers who suck!