Flying

I've been traveling by plane since I was an infant.  At least a time or two each year, I find myself jet setting somewhere.

So, needless to say, I've accumulated my fair share of observations about flying. 

As my flight made it's final approach into Las Vegas this evening...I was considering the conclusions I've drawn over the years.

Enjoy...

1.  There should totally be a "plus sized section" - 2 bigger seats instead of 3 teeny tiny ones...I would absolutely pay a little extra money for that kind of comfort.  Wait...isn't that First Class?

2.  I pack waaaay too much in my carry-on bag.  I don't know what I think I'm going to do with the few hours of flight, but I never end up touching half of the stuff I cram into my poor little bag.  Perhaps it's the lingering trauma that I experienced when I tried to fly home during a blizzard, was stuck on an airplane for about 6 hours, and was finally stranded in Chicago...but I certainly don't need 2 books, Sudoku puzzles, headphones, makeup, nail files, brush, mirror...you see where I'm going with this.

3.  When the flight attendants tell you that they have chocolate chip cookies...they are lying.  The 100 calorie packs of "cookie crisps" do not count as actual cookies - they're toying with my emotions!!!

4.  People live in the middle of freaking nowhere!  Every time I look out the window from the airplane, I'm always baffled by the lone house that appears to be surrounded by a whole lot of nothing except a lone dirt road leading a hundred miles or so to the freeway!

5.  I totally profile.  I sit in the terminal before boarding, checking out my fellow passengers, making mental lists of who I don't want to be seated with.

6.  I will always be seated next to the person who believes that the armrest is THEIRS.

7.  I will always be seated behind the person who reclines their seat for the entire flight for no good reason.

8.  How many people actually read the safety card that they put in the seat pocket?  Even though I've been flying for 30 years, I'm pretty sure that I'm screwed if the shit hits the fan, because I have not taken the time to review proper exit procedures in the event of a water landing!

9.  Why do people seem genuinely surprised when their GIANT bag doesn't fit into the overhead compartment?  And on a similar note, why is the last guy on the plane always shocked that all of the overhead binds are full?

10.  The armrest next to the window should go up and down - that's easily another 2 inches for my ass!!!